“As a child, I was very shy. Painfully, excruciatingly shy. I hid a lot in my room. I was so terrified to read out loud in school that I had to have my mother ask my reading teacher not to call on me in class.” - Kim Basinger

Many of us were shy as children, and continue to be. In more extreme versions, it may be labeled social phobia or social anxiety disorder, but maybe it is usually a personality trait, related to introversion and high sensitivity. A number of psychologists and others argue that shyness can be viewed as an ordinary variation in personality, and should not be pathologized or treated as a medical condition to be overcome.

Actor Sigourney Weaver has commented, “Sometimes because I am very shy, when I meet a director and they are shy too, we just sort of sit there. I remember when I met Ang Lee and we were left alone — we were supposed to have tea with each other… I was so shy and he was so shy neither of us said anything to each other for about 20 minutes.” [Photo: as Ellen Ripley in Alien Resurrection (1997)]

Many other actors describe themselves as shy. Chris Cooper approached getting “unblocked” with dance classes, and through acting - “Theater, as therapy,” he said.

Nicole Kidman has said she is “very shy - really shy - I even had a stutter as a kid, which I slowly got over, but I still regress into that shyness. So I don’t like walking into a crowded restaurant by myself; I don’t like going to a party by myself.”

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“If the dimension of presence or awareness is missing, then you are lost in the reaction. Then you become the reaction, and you don’t know who you are.” Eckhart Tolle

High sensitivity can be a deeply assaultive and distressing and disorienting experience. Probably starting when we were too young to have the cognitive ability to sort it out, many of us learned that identifying ourselves as sensitive (at least privately, not to others) helped make sense of the turmoil. But some writers such as Eckhart Tolle warn about losing our authenticity in identity labels.

In her article Every Blessing and Curse is a Choice. Choose the Blessing!, Jenna Forrest writes, “I would bet that a lot of us were fully prepared for our own funerals by about age seven, figuring that we were soon going to die from sensory overload. From the very beginning, the world was stirring me like a whisk.

“Life in general felt upside down, inside out and backwards. From my three-foot tall childhood viewpoint, my city looked littered; the music in our house was too loud; chemical cleaners and detergents smelled too strong; and cars sped too fast.

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Deanne Repich, Director of the National Institute of Anxiety and Stress, interviewed Dr. Aron for the Conquer Anxiety Success Program. Here is a message by Deanne Repich [photo] from her newsletter about the new interview:

Is part of your anxiety that you are “too shy” or “too sensitive,” according to others? Does your body’s alarm system go off easily when you encounter bring lights, lots of noise, or other stimuli? Do you have a keen imagination or vivid dreams?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person. Most of us feel over stimulated every once in a while, but for the Highly Sensitive Person, it’s a way of life.

In the Conquer Anxiety Success Program, I had the rare opportunity to interview Dr. Elaine Aron, bestselling author of The Highly Sensitive Person.

If you’re not familiar with Dr. Elaine Aron, she turned the scientific world on its ear with her research into high sensitivity. She is a psychotherapist, workshop leader, and highly sensitive person herself. Her work has impacted millions worldwide.

Dr. Aron is one of my personal heroes. Truly, her work was life-transforming in helping me to conquer my own anxiety when I was in anxiety’s grasp.

I had the amazing opportunity to interview Dr. Aron and am so excited that we are able to share this exclusive no-holds-barred interview on CD within the Conquer Anxiety Success Program.

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Excerpts from article Is being shy an illness?

Most of us are shy to some degree.. So when is being shy an illness?

The problem was first recognised as a mental health condition in 1980 and some professionals believe it’s one of the most under-recognised and under-treated mental health problems of the modern age.

Others are uneasy about such statements, saying shyness is behaviour that falls within the normal part of human experience. So when does shyness become a mental health problem?

[Photo: the press dubbed the demure Princess Diana "Shy Di."]

Continued in article Is being shy an illness?, By Anna Buckley, BBC News.

From article: Build Better Boundaries, by Sarah Dolliver

* Have you ever agreed to do something that you knew you would rather not do?

* Have you not given yourself enough time to do the things you do want to do, but instead used that time for someone else?

* Have you allowed another person to behave in a fashion or say things around you that you find offensive or repulsive?

* Have you not reflected outwardly what matters so much to you inwardly?

* Have you not taken time to set up your world to work for you in every way?

You are not the only one. In fact, most people do these things, but it is especially prominent among inner-directed individuals because one major way we cope is to sacrifice ourselves to accommodate others.

What is amazing is how each of us can learn to dismiss the discomfort these situations bring. You get accustomed to the degree of uneasiness you experience, so that becomes the feeling to which you associate as “normal.”

Continued in Build Better Boundaries.

Image from book Prozac Nation: Young and Depressed in America, by Elizabeth Wurtzel - see quotes on the page Intensity/sensitivity3.