Judith Orloff on Sensitive People and Relationships That Work

Highly Sensitive

Personal dimensions of the trait of high sensitivity - plus some material on shyness and introversion.

Elaine Aron notes "Shyness is learned, not innate. In fact, 30% of HSPs are extraverts, although the trait is often mislabeled as introversion."

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"About 15 to 20 percent of the population have this trait. It means you are aware of subtleties in your surroundings, a great advantage in many situations.
It also means you are more easily overwhelmed when you have been out in a highly stimulating environment for too long..."
Elaine Aron, www.hsperson.com

"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive."
Pearl Buck (1892-1973)

"Oh please be careful with me, I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way"
Jewel - in her song I'm Sensitive

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Judith Orloff on Sensitive People and Relationships That Work

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life.

Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn’t always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes.

In my practice and workshops I’ve been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call “emotional empaths” come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years.

Or else they’re in relationships but feel constantly fatigued and overwhelmed. The reason isn’t simply that “there aren’t enough emotionally available people ‘out there,’” nor is their burnout “neurotic.”

Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered that something more is going on.

Emotional empaths are a species unto themselves.

Whereas others may thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for empaths like me, too much togetherness can be hard to take, may cause us to bolt.

Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner’s energy, and become overloaded, anxious, or exhausted when we don’t have time to decompress in our own space.

We’re super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with fifty fingers instead of five. Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they’re afraid of getting engulfed.

Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live.

See rest of article, including Tips for empaths to feel at ease in a relationship -
Secrets For Sensitive People To Find Relationships That Work: Why Emotional Empaths May Stay Lonely Or Alone.

Photo: Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation.

Johansson has said, “I think I was born with a great awareness of my surroundings and an awareness of other people. I know when I really connect with somebody… Sometimes that awareness is good, and sometimes I wish I wasn’t so sensitive.” [From Intensity / sensitivity : page 2]

Related page: Relationships