Judith Orloff on Sensitive People and Relationships That Work
Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life.
Loneliness gets to some more than others. But why it hangs on isn’t always apparent when read by traditional medical eyes.
In my practice and workshops I’ve been struck by how many sensitive, empathic people who I call “emotional empaths” come to me, lonely, wanting a romantic partner, yet remaining single for years.
Or else they’re in relationships but feel constantly fatigued and overwhelmed. The reason isn’t simply that “there aren’t enough emotionally available people ‘out there,’” nor is their burnout “neurotic.”
Personally and professionally, I’ve discovered that something more is going on.
Emotional empaths are a species unto themselves.
Whereas others may thrive on the togetherness of being a couple, for empaths like me, too much togetherness can be hard to take, may cause us to bolt.
Why? We tend to intuit and absorb our partner’s energy, and become overloaded, anxious, or exhausted when we don’t have time to decompress in our own space.
We’re super-responders; our sensory experience of relationship is the equivalent of feeling objects with fifty fingers instead of five. Energetically sensitive people unknowingly avoid romantic partnership because deep down they’re afraid of getting engulfed.
Or else, they feel engulfed when coupled, a nerve-wracking, constrictive way to live.
See rest of article, including Tips for empaths to feel at ease in a relationship -
Secrets For Sensitive People To Find Relationships That Work: Why Emotional Empaths May Stay Lonely Or Alone.
Photo: Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation.
Johansson has said, “I think I was born with a great awareness of my surroundings and an awareness of other people. I know when I really connect with somebody… Sometimes that awareness is good, and sometimes I wish I wasn’t so sensitive.” [From Intensity / sensitivity : page 2]
Related page: Relationships
Shyness and introversion may seem to be the same in some ways, at least on the surface.
They can overlap, and we may have both traits – but they are not the same thing. And they are not the same as the trait of high sensitivity.
Follow the link to my post with more, including a video.
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